The #1 Root Cause of Weight Gain, Weight Struggle & Body Hate

The #1 Root Cause of Weight Gain, Weight Struggle & Body Hate

I started out as a pediatric dietitian, seeing some very complicated and rare genetic disorders and kids with feeding disorders, extreme picky eaters, etc, with great success. Then I started seeing adults for weight loss and soon saw the disappointment in that the conventional weight loss advice of eating less and burning more does not work for most women struggling with weight loss.

It's actually causing more harm, leading to nutrient deficiencies, binge eating, food cravings, gut issues, food sensitivities, hormonal imbalance, auto-immune diseases, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and low confidence.

With my unique holistic nutrition therapy approach, I was able to help these women achieve the significant weight loss they'd never seen in years. And yet everyone eventually reverted back to their old eating habits after 2-3 months.

I was baffled??!!

It took me a while to realize that these women are actually struggling with poor relationships with food and emotional eating disguised as “I have a sweet tooth,” “I love junk food,” or “I love sweets,” and using food as therapy for their stress, anger, resentment, sadness, boredom, etc. That's when I realized that nutrition therapy alone does not work in the long run if we don’t resolve the poor relationship with food.

Unfortunately, most people don’t even know they have a poor relationship with food because it is disguised as "I'm trying to be healthy," "I'm trying to be good" or “I just want to be happy.”

Eventually I realized the #1 root causes of weight gain and weight struggle and self-sabotage has nothing to do with the food or nutrition knowledge but all the food thoughts or food noise they have in the head. 

1. “I can’t eat that; it’s too fattening.”

2. “I’ll be bad if I eat dessert tonight.”

3. “I have to work off this meal tomorrow.”

4. “I can’t trust myself around sweets.”

5. “I don’t deserve to eat that because I haven’t worked out today.”

6. “I ate too much; I need to skip my next meal.”

7. “I wish I could eat normally like other people.”

8. “I feel guilty whenever I eat something unhealthy.”

9. “I need to count every calorie to stay in control.”

10. “I’m afraid to eat because I don’t want to gain weight.”

11. “Eating that would ruin my diet.”

12. “I have to avoid carbs to stay thin.”

13. “I eat when I’m stressed out; it’s the only thing that helps.”

14. “I reward myself with food when I’ve had a good day.”

15. "I have a huge sweet tooth."

16. "I love [your favorite food]."

17. "Once I start eating, I can't stop."

18. "I should have ordered something healthier."

Years of yo-yo dieting created a poor relationship with food that stopped these women from eating normally because they were so afraid of eating the “wrong food” or afraid of “weight gain” or “messing up.” And many of these women don't even realize they have an "eating disorder" that's preventing them from eating normally to lose the weight and keep it off. That's why all the past weight loss attempts had failed.

A poor relationship with food can manifest in various ways, including physical, emotional, and behavioral signs. Here’s a list of behaviors that may indicate an unhealthy relationship with food or a disordered eating pattern:

1. Yo-yo Dieting: Constantly trying new diets, restricting certain food groups, or following extreme eating plans.

2. Food Noise: Constant obsessing over food, calories, or meal planning, even when not hungry.

3. Emotional Eating: Eating in response to emotions like stress, sadness, boredom, or happiness rather than physical hunger.

4. Guilt or Shame After Eating: Feeling guilty or ashamed after eating certain foods, especially those deemed “unhealthy.”

5. Restrictive Eating: Severely limiting food intake, skipping meals, or fasting for extended periods to control weight.

6. Binge Eating: Eating excessively large amounts of food in a short period, often feeling out of control while eating.

7. Compensatory Behaviors: Engaging in behaviors like over-exercising, purging, or taking laxatives after eating.

8. Food Policing: Labeling foods as “good” or “bad” strictly based on whether they are healthy or unhealthy leads to fear or avoidance of certain foods.

9. Body Hate: Constantly criticizing one’s body, tying self-worth to body size, or frequently checking weight or appearance.

10. Social Withdrawal: Avoiding social situations that involve food, like dining out or attending events, due to anxiety or fear of being judged about what they’re eating.

11. Don’t Feel Hungry: Not recognizing or deliberately ignoring natural signals of hunger or fullness.

12. Secretive Eating: Eating in secret or hiding food to avoid actual and perceived judgment from others.

13. Over-reliance on “Clean Eating,” aka “Orthorexia:” Compulsively obsessing over eating only “clean” or “pure” foods to the point of anxiety or stress.

14. Feeling Out of Control Around Food: Experiencing intense cravings or feeling unable to stop eating certain foods.

Poor relationships with food don’t just happen to you. There are usually some past events that might have triggered the desire or need to restrict food or diet or become self-conscious of specific body parts or body image. These can often stem from a combination of psychological, social, cultural, and biological influences. Here are some common causes:

1. Diet Culture and Societal Pressures

• Idealization of Thinness: Society often equates thinness with beauty, success, and health, leading to pressure to achieve and maintain a certain body type.

• Diet Trends: Constant exposure to fad diets and weight loss programs can promote restrictive eating habits and unhealthy attitudes towards food.

• Media Influence: Images of “perfect” bodies in the media can lead to unrealistic body expectations and dissatisfaction with one’s own appearance.

2. Psychological Factors

• Low Self-Esteem: People with low self-esteem may tie their self-worth to their body image, leading to disordered eating patterns.

• Perfectionism: A tendency toward perfectionism can manifest in rigid control over eating habits and body shape.

• Emotional Trauma: Past trauma, especially related to body image or food, can contribute to a poor relationship with food.

• Anxiety and Depression: Mental health conditions like anxiety and depression often affect eating habits, either leading to overeating as a coping mechanism or appetite suppression.

3. Family Influence

• Parental Attitudes: Parents who diet, criticize their own or their children’s bodies, or impose strict eating rules can model unhealthy behaviors.

• Childhood Food Rules: Being raised in an environment where food was strictly controlled or used as a reward/punishment can lead to disordered eating later in life.

• Family Dynamics: Growing up in a household with poor communication or high levels of stress can contribute to emotional eating.

4. Cultural and Religious Beliefs

• Cultural Norms: Certain cultural expectations around food, body size, and eating behaviors can influence one’s relationship with food. In certain culture, food is love. 

• Religious Restrictions: Some religious practices that involve fasting or strict dietary rules can create a complicated relationship with food, particularly if they are followed rigidly.

5. Body Image Issues

• Body Dissatisfaction: Negative body image, or a distorted view of one’s own body, can lead to unhealthy eating behaviors as an attempt to change or control body size.

• Social Comparison: Comparing oneself to others, particularly on social media, can exacerbate body dissatisfaction and poor eating habits.

6. Past Experiences with Food

• Chronic Dieting: A history of yo-yo dieting or repeated attempts to lose weight can lead to a disordered relationship with food.

• Binge Eating Episodes: Experiences of binge eating, whether frequent or occasional, can create feelings of guilt and a cycle of restriction and overconsumption.

• Negative Food Experiences: Associating food with negative experiences, like being forced to eat certain foods as a child, can affect one’s relationship with eating.

7. Peer Influence

• Peer Pressure: Friends or peers who diet, obsess over weight, or engage in disordered eating behaviors can influence one’s own eating habits.

• Social Eating Norms: In some social circles, there may be norms around eating (e.g., always finishing your plate, avoiding certain foods) that can create anxiety or unhealthy habits.

8. Biological Factors

• Genetics: Some people may be genetically predisposed to certain eating disorders or patterns of disordered eating.

• Hunger and Satiety Signals: Hormonal imbalances or disruptions in hunger and fullness cues can contribute to overeating or undereating.

• Neurochemical Imbalances: Imbalances in brain chemicals like serotonin and dopamine can affect mood and appetite, influencing eating behaviors.

9. Lack of Nutrition Education

• Misinformation: Confusion about what constitutes a balanced diet can lead to unhealthy eating habits.

• Lack of Awareness: Not understanding the body’s nutritional needs or how to listen to hunger and fullness cues can contribute to poor eating habits.

10. Emotional Coping Mechanism

• Stress Relief: Many people use food as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, or other negative emotions.

• Comfort and Reward: Associating food with comfort, rewards, or love can lead to emotional eating and a complicated relationship with food.

11. Past Trauma

• Emotional or Physical Abuse: Experiences of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse can lead to disordered eating as a way to cope with the pain or regain a sense of control. Food might be used as a comfort or a means of self-punishment.

• Neglect or Abandonment: Childhood experiences of neglect or abandonment can result in using food as a substitute for love, security, or attention.

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Individuals with PTSD may struggle with food as they attempt to manage or avoid trauma-related triggers, sometimes resulting in erratic eating patterns or avoidance of certain foods that are associated with traumatic memories.

• Trauma-Related Body Image Issues: Trauma, especially sexual trauma, can lead to a distorted body image and an attempt to control one’s body through food, either by restricting intake or overeating as a form of self-protection.

• Self-Sabotage: Trauma survivors may engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, including disordered eating, as a way to cope with feelings of unworthiness or as a manifestation of unresolved trauma.

Past trauma can deeply affect one’s relationship with food, leading to complex behaviors and emotional responses around eating. Addressing these underlying trauma-related issues is often essential for healing and developing a healthier relationship with food.

Understanding these causes can help in identifying and addressing the root issues contributing to a poor relationship with food, ultimately leading to healthier, more balanced eating habits.